Thursday, February 18, 2010

in the middle

Today was one of those days that was full of work and responsibilities. On top of this was my longing to spend time in nature, to ground myself by connecting to mama earth.

Making it a priority, creating time to walk to the beach on such a spectacular day of endless blue skies, I couldn't help feel how the incoming tide was such a reflection to how I was feeling on the inside. At the lighthouse point, the waves were crashing in from two directions - from the north and the south. Standing on the sandy spit there was a feeling of being pushed and pulled in two opposing directions... like being in a washing machine... this way, that way, this way, that way...
I also had a major decision also to make in regards to my upcoming performance with MomoButoh Company tomorrow night on the Olympic Peninsula several hours away. I had a previous commitment to assist at an all day workshop in Seattle and my original plan was to head home right after our performance to get back very late to Seattle... After receiving an invitation to stay overnight in Port Townsend, I felt the inner tug of being pulled in two directions like the incoming tide...
I appreciated the dance in the sea being pulled in two opposite directions and then finding my place of balance and center even as the waves crashed around me. My answer to my dilemma was made very clear from this dance - from the inside. When faced with difficult decisions, I often remember the words of my medicine woman mentor - to follow the path that has heart and meaning.

As I spent so much time last year dancing daily for YearOfButoh in 2009, and this performance is a celebration of that year, I realized how important it is for me to be able to honor that experience with my butoh mentor and all the guests who will be there to join in the occasion - it means the world to me. Unless one has embarked on this same journey of dancing and filming daily, I think that it has hard to understand how profound this journey has been - a journey of body, mind and soul... often very painful, often very joyful, but always one of opening, of expanding, of exposing, of being incredibly vulnerable in the sharing of such a profound practice.
I am honored to be a part of the performance, and am thrilled to be able to stay for the whole evening - to integrate the experience both during that night and also spending time on the sacred land of the area the next day... as much as i love dynamic energy like the crashing surf that revitalizes my soul, I need to rest deeply and spend time integrating such a profound night of celebration and retrospection of all the daily dances of 2009... The energy of integration of that which is sacred is mandatory for the soul...
Thank you for reading / viewing this blog. I hope that it is some way inspires you - perhaps to see and use nature as a mirror to what is going on in your inner life's experience... nature is such an amazing teacher....

There is a film in the black space below.
Filmed by Brooke
View my butoh mentor's blog here: Maureen 'Momo' Freehill

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