Wednesday, February 23, 2011

momma bear love

"Anyway, what's the purpose of our being here? Ultimately, aren't we here to link hearts?"
Kazuo Ohno - Maureen Freehill's sensei

One of the many things I learned from dancing daily for YearOfButoh in 2009, was that the dances that were most meaningful for me were the ones in which I was able to express something that I felt strongly about. On the days I was not inspired to dance, I danced anyway - not caring so much about what my dances looked like as I was committed to my daily practice, regardless. The intention was to dance as freely and spontaneously as I could wherever I found myself in life.
Although the experience of this most recent dance practice held much emotional depth for me, the film itself didn't feel like it reflected my inner feelings... part of this had to do with the awareness that, at any moment, one of the nurses might enter into my Mom's room in the nursing home unexpectedly :~) Not to mention how on the film I am cutoff at the neck for most of it, too... oh well... i am trying to let go of (and am greatly challenged by) my need to create things that have a certain aesthetic... :~)
When I first arrived to my Mom's room, I couldn't help but notice the pink paper heart that was taped to her closet above her head as we were chatting. It was probably put there by her grand-daughter months ago. As the theme for MomoButoh Company to explore this month is "Love and Family" it felt appropriate to dance with the feelings I was experiencing in her room.
I was initially drawn to the teddy bear collection on her dresser. She wasn't sure where they came from, although I knew that friends and family had given them to her as gifts over the years that she has resided there.
I was remembering how bear cubs are born within the darkness of a den in the depths of winter where they are nursed and nourished by their Mommas and then when spring comes, they exit. I was also remembering how Momma bears are one of the most ferocious mammals when it comes to protecting their cubs...
Feeling much love, as well as melancholy, for my Mom on this visit (I never know if it will be the last time that I will see her), I was inspired to take my inner feeling tone of connection to her as well as what Momma bears symbolize, and dance spontaneously...
My Mom asked at one point where the turquoise hat on the end of her bed came from. I didn't have the heart to tell her it wasn't a hat at all, but, a folded blanket... and so I danced it as 'hat.'
Today, dancing with the bears, my Mom's purple straw hat (that was her favorite sun hat that she hasn't worn in years as she rarely leaves her nursing home due to her disabilities), the blanket, and the love I feel for her.

Thank you for viewing this blog... I hope it may inspire you in some way to dance your own dance...
With gratitude,
Music: Aiko Shimada
Visit our collaborative blog here: Momobutoh Dance Company

Monday, February 14, 2011

sand love catharsis

"Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair." Kahlil Gibran

The theme for Momobutoh Company's practice is 'Love and Family' this month and so today I felt inspired to dance with the heaviness of care-taking for my dad...
As my dad approaches his end-of-life, he has become more and more loving and open-hearted. As his body and mind close down and degenerate, his heart continues to open outward to his family in an expansive way. As a result, our hearts are opening more and more to him, as well - it is a beautiful exchange.
The burden is a result of all the the challenges there are in trying to manage his house and his care-givers while at the same time, trying to stay strong and be the pillar that is able to take care of his increased personal-care needs. It feels like during much of the last few years I have been emotionally drained by this responsibility and I continue to quest for ways in-which to nourish the feeling of depletion in my spirit.
My dance practice as taught by Momo has been very cathartic... a way to embody that which is being experienced from the depths...
Coming out onto the beach on this chilly, blustery day I was drawn to do a spontaneous dance with a large branch whose heaviness felt like a good analogy for the burden I have been feeling... and yet, it was light enough to maneuver, to trace patterns in the sand (including a heart around my beloved :~)... The dance of embodiment of burden resulted in a feeling of release and increased lightness of spirit as the dance continued.
Dancing on sand is also one of my favorite practices as I love how it is so forgiving and always invites a playful freedom of movement... and a baring of the feet :~) Feeling grateful to connect more deeply to the grounding presence of Mama Earth during this practice.
Also feeling grateful to share my dance practices with you all here, and to, Momo, for inspiring our connection and practices....
Thank you for viewing - I hope my practices may inspire you in some way - perhaps to dance freely with the Earth and her precious beings where you live,
Music: Deuter
Filmed by Brooke (my beloved :~)
View our collaborative blog here: Momobutoh Company

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

whose style?

"Were I called on to define, very briefly, the term Art, I should call it 'the reproduction of what the Senses perceive in Nature through the veil of the soul.'"
Edgar Allan Poe

While walking on this clear but very chilly evening just before sunset, I came across an abandoned building in the park that was 'trapping' the warmth and golden light of the sun. As I approached the building, a fallen sumac branch was laying on the grass, and my first thought was to do a spontaneous dance of connection to other via this stick... dancing 'stick style.'

In viewing the film later, I realized how much assimilation there is, unconsciously, of other dancer's styles simply by witnessing them - I could see moments of Momo, Misty, Carolyn, Rev, Melinda... within this short dance attempt of dancing 'free-style.'
I could appreciate so much Patricia's 'copy-cat style' post (here) - and through this embodied practice I was able to witness how I am a conglomerate of what I view... This made me think that, potentially, how we are also made up of what we hear, what we touch, what we taste, and what we smell and how that all that we bring into our beings through our senses becomes part of us and can directly affect our 'style' and what is expressed outwardly....
Feeling grateful for this practice of connection with you all! Appreciate those that may be viewing our blog collaboration - and hope that you may be be inspired to join us!

Thank you for viewing this blog... I hope it may inspire you in some way,
Music: Satowa