Tuesday, March 2, 2010

pink blossoms and bleeding heart

They blossom, and then
we gaze, and then the blooms
scatter, and then...
- Onitsura
While walking through a sycamore forest today, a blossoming tree seemed to be glowing pink in the distance in the setting sun. Tree blossoms remind me so much of the impermanence of all living things as they are here for such a brief time. On approaching the tree, sweetness filled the air and I was moved by how the tree itself was gnarly, covered in lichens and ancient looking, and yet from this aged one, these delicate, exquisite blossoms - every spring, new and new again.

My first instinct was to climb it and be surrounded in and amongst the blooms. However, that still didn't seem to satisfy my longing for a deeper connection.

I have noticed that living so many hours of a day indoors, or in a car, have given me a feeling of separation with nature - that I view it from inside looking out through a window. And whether or not it is a habit that comes from that 'through the window' lack of connection, even when I am spending time in nature on a daily basis, it often feels as though I am inside my body and looking out the windows of my eyes at the beauty, but not part of it.

One of my life's greatest experiences of connecting and feeling a part of that with surrounds us is when I did a 9 day spirit quest where 4 days and 3 nights were spent fasting and spending time solo in nature with only water, a sleeping bag and a tarp in case of rain. All day and much of the night I felt a heightened sense of awareness and connectedness to the environment - in no way separate from it. My body began to feel like the earth, the sky, the nearby creek... one in communion with all the living beings of the desert landscape.
Sometimes, to duplicate that feeling, I find that simply changing my perspective, such as turning upside down, can open and tune into my senses more fully and allow me to see in a whole new way - such as today in this dance practice of connecting with the sensual body to the blooming tree.

After seeing this film later today I was also struck by the red scarf, as if bleeding from the heart... I am not sure how to interpret this except I like the analogy of it perhaps being the lifeline / bloodline / heart-line that connects all living beings together...

In the cherry blossom's shade
there's no such thing
as a stranger.

Kobayashi Issa
(1763 - 1828)
English version by
Robert Hass

Before the trees scatter all their fleeting beauteous petals into the wind, I hope that you too may have a chance to connect with a blossoming tree where you live - to dance with, to climb on, to hang upside down from and to be held by.

Thank you for viewing. I hope this blog may in some way inspire you.

There is a film in the black space below:
video
Music: Andrew Bird
Filmed by Brooke
Please view my butoh mentor's beautiful blog here: Maureen 'Momo' Freehill

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