bark, swords and nettles

"The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness."

— John Muir (1838 - 1914)

Today's dance was inspired by a massive group of sword ferns in the woods off the trail in a sunbeam that was filtering through the evergreen canopy. I had just purchased 3 large ferns for our garden yesterday and was told by the botanist at the nursery that these ferns take several years to grow into maturity to the size we often see in the forests... 4 - 5 years - wow! Apparently, ferns are an ancient species that date back 360 million years - fossils have imprints of ferns forever captured within them. I also found out that the indigenous people of this area used the rhizomes for food.

While bushwhacking towards them I was struck by a tall stump which had been hammered away by woodpeckers and had also lost chunks of it's bark.

I was intrigued by how bark can provide such protection for the tree as it is growing, but now, the covering was easily being penetrated. Next to the tree, the sword ferns, that although look sword-like, are really very pliable and flexible. While dancing with the ferns, they were dropping puffs of spores from the underside of their leaves that were dancing in the sun shafts.

Beside the sword ferns were newly uprising nettles and horsetails and this dance amongst the woodland plants reminded me of our interconnectedness to all things - that while alive the tree breathes in CO2 and exhales O2 for our benefit, and although now dead, the tree now provides food and shelter for winged ones and creepy crawlers.

I also find it so fascinating that although the nettles sting, there are many health benefits to ingesting them and that the stings from nettles can be reduced by rubbing the backs of the sword ferns on the stings or, the 'juice' from the horsetails can also be used... that the medicine for the sting grows right beside the plant itself... nature is amazing! Although not exactly a symbiotic relationship it sure has me wondering about why these species grow so close in proximity to one another...

"Some researchers claim that as much as 80% of the rainforest is symbiotic with something else, when those symbiotic relationships is lost, so is the rainforest! Since there are over an estimated 10 million species found in the rainforests, 80% means that 4 out of 5 creatures and plants would disappear without symbiosis, and that translates into millions of species vanishing." James Johnson

“Tug on anything at all and you'll find it connected to everything else in the universe.”

John Muir

Today was one of those days that smelled rich with humus and soil and new life... it was a day that felt so nourishing to the soul.

Thank you for viewing / reading. I hope you have been inspired in some way - perhaps to connect deeply to the wild plants where you live...

Lee

There is a film in the black space below:

Music: Sigur Ros

Filmed by Brooke

Please view my butoh mentor's beautiful blog here: Maureen 'Momo' Freehill

grumpy sunset

"I am so distant from the hope of myself,

in which I have goodness, and discernment,

and never hurry through the world

but walk slowly, and bow often."

Mary Oliver

After attempting to spend the day preparing my tax info for the IRS I was feeling irritable and grumpy. Outside the windows the day looked spectacular, and that heightened my inner frustration. Finally, it was time to break out of my self-created confines of tax preparation and head outdoors - just as the sun was setting.

Feeling more frustration that I had waited so long to enter the wildness today, I started our walk in a rather foul mood - and where in the next 5 minutes would I find a location to dance before it gets too dark?

Of course, nature has a way of soothing rattled nerves :~) As we entered the park a brisk wind was blowing, which was unusual as so many days lately have been calm, and in front of us dancing in the wind was a kite playing on the wind's currents and fluctuating gusts.

Inspired initially to dance in the wind with the wind as partner, the dance became play and it felt good to let my frustration from the day disperse in the wind. While overlooking the sun's radiance as it set, it was impossible not to feel humbled and not to honor the immensity of the greatest show on earth - the setting sun...

I appreciate so much how my daily dance practice can often transmute a particular energy or emotion into something else - whether by embodying it (as we have done in Momo's workshops) or by being present with that which is present...

Thank you for viewing / reading this blog... I hope it may be of some inspiration to you in some way...

There is a film in the black space below:

Music: Stefano Battaglia

Filmed by Brooke

Visit my butoh mentor's inspiring blog here: Maureen 'Momo' Freehill

dat dere at the beach

Today's dance practice was at the beach...

Not only have we had an unusually early spring, we have also had so many days lately that have been very calm at the ocean's shore. Although I love how the sky and ocean seem limitless as they bleed one into the other on the horizon, there is something also a little disconcerting about the change in our weather...

it's 3:23 in the morning

and i'm awake

because my great great grandchilren

won't let me sleep

my great great grandchildren

ask me in dreams

what did you do when the planet was plundered?

what did you do when the earth was unraveling?

surely you did something when the seasons started failing?

as the animals, reptiles, birds were all dying?

...

drew dellinger

Today I was inspired to put into practice my butoh mentor Momo's suggestion that she learned from Yoshito Ohno - one of imagining yourself to be as large as you possibly can and then as small as you possibly can and embodying and dancing those two realms... I loved how the limitless sky and mirror-like sea reflected so well that feeling of being very large, and the fine particles of sand of being infinitesimally small.

You're not just a Drop in the Ocean,

you're also the mighty Ocean in the Drop.

Rumi

What I noticed in reviewing the film is the irony of how when I was dancing and feeling large on the inside was when I was moving away from the camera to the seashore, and in the physical realm 'looking' like I was becoming smaller and smaller. The opposite was the case when I was imagining small - it was when I was getting closer to the camera and visually becoming bigger and bigger...

A nature dancing friend filmed a segment of their dance where they were walking in a circle and I loved how that image looked as though they were creating the earth's rotation. I was inspired to duplicate that feeling here of circling inward - could one be so large as to turn the earth with their feet? Walking in a circle also fostered a feeling of moving inward towards the center and towards that which is infinitely small. I enjoy that exploration of the fractal phenomenon where there is an infinite distance to "smallness," too.

I love how butoh practice is a practice of paying attention to the ordinary in life in such a way that feels like poetry to me... that it is in the noticing of the often overlooked daily presentations that can allow life to feel more sensuous, lush, rich and juicy... that it is able to speak to a deep longing to be connected to this natural world and not separate from it...

Every day

I see or I hear

something

that more or less

kills me

with delight, …

It is what I was born for—

to look, to listen,

to lose myself

inside this soft world—

to instruct myself

over and over

in joy,

and acclamation…

Mary Oliver

My favorite part of today's practice was when a child and a Saint Bernard puppy entered the film! I was reminded again to bring child-like play into the dance by imitating... and so I followed in the footsteps of the young girl, literally, as her footprints were so visible in the sand. She was so sweet as she would squeal, run, fall down, draw patterns in the sand for a few seconds and... repeat... repeat... while her puppy so happily romped by her side.

It was so great to also trace her sand drawings as there was no aesthetic pattern to them at all (which would be my tendency) - just random scratches in the sand...

The film is longer today... my favorite part of the puppy and child is at the end :~) Some of the sqealing in the film is in the music, and some is of the little girl, or is that me?? wheeeee!!

Thank you for viewing / reading. I hope you may feel inspired to dance and play as so many of us did as children... what happened to that freedom of movement we had as children???

There is a film in the black space below:

Music: Rickie Lee Jones 'Dat Dere'

Filmed by Brooke

Visit my butoh mentor's inspiring blog here: Maureen 'Momo' Freehill

more blossoms

The spring blossoms in the pacific northwest are reaching their peak and it is hard not to want to spend time amongst their beauty. Late this afternoon a flock of robins were singing from the tree tops and I loved doing my dance practice with their music accompaniment...

Another day dancing with the blossoms before they are scattered into the wind, feeling humbled by the beauty of mama earth. Momo, my butoh mentor, has said that one of her teachers, Yoshito Ohno, has suggested that the essence of a dance can be as a prayer.

Today my dance prayer is one of gratitude for the most precious gifts in life that are freely given in the natural world, but so easily and often overlooked in our busy lives - such as the sweet, sweet fragrance given away by this delicate dancing tree....

"The winds have died, but flowers go on falling:

birds call but silence penetrates each song.

The mystery! Unknowable, unlearnable..."

Sam Hamill

Thank you for viewing / reading this blog. I hope you may feel inspired to dance amongst nature's beauty...

There is a film in the black space below:

Music: Robins

Filmed by Brooke

Please view my butoh mentor's beautiful blog here and her joyful dance with plum blossoms: Maureen 'Momo' Freehill

We also danced together with a blossoming tree the day after Momo's "The Daily Dance: Year of Butoh Retrospective Performance" on February 19th - view here: Dance of Lightness

rainbow sunset

The park beside us is magical - 650 acres 10 minutes from downtown. It astounds me every time I am there - pretty much daily, as it is a place that nourishes the soul. It is easy to spend hours wandering the trails and on weekdays it is common to barely see another human being there.

Walking from the forest out onto the open field literally took my breath away as the glow of the sun setting against the grassy knoll was like liquid gold. After dancing with the sun setting I turned to see a rainbow in the sky behind me.

As I propped the camera up on a log, I didn't know that for much of the dance I was mostly out of the screen - a filming challenge with the tripod :~)

"There is only one question: how to love this world." Mary Oliver

In-spite of the filming glitch, today's dance practice was one of celebration and of loving this world - of honoring the beauty and the wonders of our mama earth.

Grandfather Sun, Mother Earth and Father Sky... we honor you, we give thanks to you!

The Sun

Have you ever seen

anything

in your life

more wonderful

than the way the sun,

every evening,

relaxed and easy,

floats toward the horizon

and into the clouds or the hills,

or the rumpled sea,

and is gone--

and how it slides again

out of the blackness,

every morning,

on the other side of the world,

like a red flower

streaming upward on its heavenly oils,

say, on a morning in early summer,

at its perfect imperial distance--

and have you ever felt for anything

such wild love--

do you think there is anywhere, in any language,

a word billowing enough

for the pleasure

that fills you,

as the sun

reaches out,

as it warms you

as you stand there,

empty-handed--

or have you too

turned from this world--

or have you too

gone crazy

for power,

for things?

Mary Oliver

Thank you for viewing / reading this blog. Perhaps you may feel inspired to connect with and dance with the natural world where you live. How do you show your love for this world? I would enjoy hearing about it if you are in any way inspired :~)

There is a film in the black space below:

Music: Aiko Shimado and Elizabeth Falconer

Visit my butoh mentor's beautiful blog here: Maureen 'Momo' Freehill

pink blossoms and bleeding heart

They blossom, and then

we gaze, and then the blooms

scatter, and then...

- Onitsura

While walking through a sycamore forest today, a blossoming tree seemed to be glowing pink in the distance in the setting sun. Tree blossoms remind me so much of the impermanence of all living things as they are here for such a brief time. On approaching the tree, sweetness filled the air and I was moved by how the tree itself was gnarly, covered in lichens and ancient looking, and yet from this aged one, these delicate, exquisite blossoms - every spring, new and new again.

My first instinct was to climb it and be surrounded in and amongst the blooms. However, that still didn't seem to satisfy my longing for a deeper connection.

I have noticed that living so many hours of a day indoors, or in a car, have given me a feeling of separation with nature - that I view it from inside looking out through a window. And whether or not it is a habit that comes from that 'through the window' lack of connection, even when I am spending time in nature on a daily basis, it often feels as though I am inside my body and looking out the windows of my eyes at the beauty, but not part of it.

One of my life's greatest experiences of connecting and feeling a part of that with surrounds us is when I did a 9 day spirit quest where 4 days and 3 nights were spent fasting and spending time solo in nature with only water, a sleeping bag and a tarp in case of rain. All day and much of the night I felt a heightened sense of awareness and connectedness to the environment - in no way separate from it. My body began to feel like the earth, the sky, the nearby creek... one in communion with all the living beings of the desert landscape.

Sometimes, to duplicate that feeling, I find that simply changing my perspective, such as turning upside down, can open and tune into my senses more fully and allow me to see in a whole new way - such as today in this dance practice of connecting with the sensual body to the blooming tree.

After seeing this film later today I was also struck by the red scarf, as if bleeding from the heart... I am not sure how to interpret this except I like the analogy of it perhaps being the lifeline / bloodline / heart-line that connects all living beings together...

In the cherry blossom's shade

there's no such thing

as a stranger.

Kobayashi Issa

(1763 - 1828)

English version by

Robert Hass

Before the trees scatter all their fleeting beauteous petals into the wind, I hope that you too may have a chance to connect with a blossoming tree where you live - to dance with, to climb on, to hang upside down from and to be held by.

Thank you for viewing. I hope this blog may in some way inspire you.

There is a film in the black space below:

Music: Andrew Bird

Filmed by Brooke

Please view my butoh mentor's beautiful blog here: Maureen 'Momo' Freehill

fight the power

... let our lives be incense

burning

like a hymn to the sacred

body of the universe

my religion is rain

my religion is stone

my religion reveals itself to me in sweaty epiphanies

every leaf, every river,

every animal,

your body

every creature trapped in the gears

of corporate nightmares

every species made extinct

was once

your body...

Drew Dellinger

Another unusually warm spring day, another walk in the park, and another opportunity for reflection as I considered today's daily dance practice location. Beside a huge pile of composting leaves was a concrete barricade with graffiti written on it - "fight the power." This caused me to pause, but not for long because I wanted my body just to respond - as Momo's sensei, Kazuo Ohno has said - "Not thinking, only soul." I needed to just jump into this dance and the compost!

I think what surprised me was that suddenly I took on what felt like the "power" itself - that I wasn't the protagonist fighting the antagonist, or the good fighting the evil, but the "evil" itself, crashing and stomping over the mountains of leaves, feeling almost ogre-like - with an inner feeling of "nothing can get in my way - I am evil and unstoppable!"

However, again, as what often happens in daily dances, the unexpected occurred - there amongst the decay was a small, silver child's shoe - like a ballet slipper. This stopped me in my stomping tracks and for a time I felt bewitched by the fragility, the delicateness of this tiny, girl's shoe. I was overcome by a cinderella-like image of seeing if this slipper might somehow 'fit' with the resulting transformation into a 'princess' or of a non-evil entity...

The juxtaposition of the tiny slipper against my clod-hopper hiking boots looked ridiculous to me... back to my ogre ways!

Not really understanding this dance until this evening when I became aware of two environmental issues. One was Monsantos and the alfalfa industry. The other was about a court case that is currently underway in Canada regarding 1600 ducks that were killed in Syncrude's oil sand's trailing pools in Alberta. Both of these issues involve large corporations that will stop at nothing for financial gain - that are willing to destroy that which sustains all life, the fragile ecosystem, including our mama earth.

In reflection on my dance practice from this afternoon, I could see that the delicate beauty of the slipper, like the exquisite beauty of the ducks that died in the tailings pond, were only minor distractions on the path of destruction. The composting leaves I was stomping on, like the body of mama earth whose ancient composting created crude oil, is so easily stomped on with disregard.

There was something powerful about embodying evil in today's practice. As the esteemed Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh has said, until we can see ourselves as perpetrators of evil ourselves, it is difficult to be compassionate and even understand it.

In part of his moving poem "Call Me by My True Names" he says:

I am the twelve-year-old girl, refugee on a small boat,

who throws herself into the ocean after being raped by a sea

pirate,

and I am the pirate, my heart not yet capable of seeing and

loving.

I am a member of the politburo, with plenty of power in my

hands,

and I am the man who has to pay his "debt of blood" to, my

people,

dying slowly in a forced labor camp.

My joy is like spring, so warm it makes flowers bloom in all

walks of life.

My pain if like a river of tears, so full it fills the four oceans.

Please call me by my true names,

so I can hear all my cries and laughs at once,

so I can see that my joy and pain are one.

Please call me by my true names,

so I can wake up,

and so the door of my heart can be left open,

the door of compassion.

Thich Nhat Hanh

My butoh mentor Momo wrote an insightful blog on the surfacing of anger in our lives. Although I have practiced yoga since I was a child where there is a tendency to want to embrace all things 'light-filled', I believe it is important for us to also acknowledge our inner dark that resides within each of us. My butoh practice has been a great teacher in embodying that aspect of myself and allowing it to surface, where I can begin to embrace it with acceptance and compassion.

Thank you for viewing / reading this blog. I hope that it in some way has inspired you - perhaps to remember and embody our interconnectedness to all beings in the world. My hope in sharing my vulnerabilities and challenges is that it will allow us all to be more open with one another.

There is a film in the black space below:

Music: Chopin

Filmed by Brooke

Visit my butoh mentor's inspiring blog here: Maureen 'Momo' Freehill