Sanctuary and the Inner Fire

An angel told me, "The only way to walk through fire without getting burned is to become fire." Drew Dellinger

It seems there is so much peace within our hearts and at the same time such a passionate and wild fire.

While care-taking for my elderly mother, who is recovering from a femur fracture and surgery in her nursing home, I am reminded of the necessity of  an open-heart of compassion while holding onto an inner fierceness while being her advocate. 

There is such a tendency, it seems, to over medicate seniors with morphine so they will not experience any pain. But how is the pain determined and what is too much medication? How do you determine pain when the patient is unable to speak because there is too much medication? If there is too much medication, my mom is 'snowed,' as they call it, so she can not eat or drink - which would mean a certain dwindling into dying.

This dance was inspired by the challenge I have been having of finding balance for my mom's well-being so she could move into a place of healing and so she would not pass away because of a broken leg - from the reprocutions of being overly medicated.

This dance was a prayer for her, and for all the elders who are in pain, as they move closer to their end of life, towards the realm of light, spirit and the realm of mystery... May they find inner peace on their journeys...

Here, at my childhood home, building a fire in a rusted old steel drum I found in the garage, on a frosty star-filled night in the woods behind the house -  dancing the wildness of the inner flame - the fire of the soul's inner sanctum.

Thank you for viewing my blog - it means a lot. I hope you may find some inspiration here. I enjoy your comments immensely!

New Years blessings to you!

Lee

Please view Momobutoh Dance Company Collaborative blog here: Momobutoh

rock steady love

On a Day When the Wind is Perfect

On a day

when the wind is perfect,

the sail just needs to open and the world is full of beauty.

Today is such a

day...

The living heart gives to us as does that luminous sphere,

both caress the earth with great

tenderness.

This is a breeze that can enter the soul.

This love I know plays a drum...

Peace is wonderful,

but ecstatic dance is more fun...

On a day when the wind is perfect,

the sail just needs to open

and the love starts.

Today is such

a day.

~ Rumi ~

I love what the wind symbolizes - the winds of change, letting worries go into the wind, being taken by the wind... etc. Also, many of the dances I have enjoyed most in nature were ones in which the wind was a dance partner. I have found the wind to be such a good teacher in spontaneity as it is always changing it's direction and intensity - moment to moment. Many of the dances were 'buffets' with the wind!

However, I also find being in the wind very unsettling to my nervous system and after being in the wind will often feel inwardly rattled and mentally space-y. At those times I long to feel grounded and connect deeply to the earth to counterbalance those feelings.

In our last dance mentorship session together Momo suggested I practice with a large rock in the shape of a heart that was given to me by a friend. Not only to dance the symbolism of the 'heart' itself, but with the idea of using it to connect with gravity and the earth element.

Today was a perfect day to spontaneously explore my love / hate relationship to the wind and to express my gratitude to Mama Earth (in the form of rock) for keeping me connected to the Earth as I was being tossed about.

Thank you for viewing my blog. I hope it may inspire you to dance your own dance in the natural world. I love comments and would enjoy hearing from you.

Kindly, Lee

Music: Chopin

Film by Brooke

Visit our collaborative blog here: MomoButoh Company

momma bear love

"Anyway, what's the purpose of our being here? Ultimately, aren't we here to link hearts?"

Kazuo Ohno - Maureen Freehill's sensei

One of the many things I learned from dancing daily for YearOfButoh in 2009, was that the dances that were most meaningful for me were the ones in which I was able to express something that I felt strongly about. On the days I was not inspired to dance, I danced anyway - not caring so much about what my dances looked like as I was committed to my daily practice, regardless. The intention was to dance as freely and spontaneously as I could wherever I found myself in life.

Although the experience of this most recent dance practice held much emotional depth for me, the film itself didn't feel like it reflected my inner feelings... part of this had to do with the awareness that, at any moment, one of the nurses might enter into my Mom's room in the nursing home unexpectedly :~) Not to mention how on the film I am cutoff at the neck for most of it, too... oh well... i am trying to let go of (and am greatly challenged by) my need to create things that have a certain aesthetic... :~)

When I first arrived to my Mom's room, I couldn't help but notice the pink paper heart that was taped to her closet above her head as we were chatting. It was probably put there by her grand-daughter months ago. As the theme for MomoButoh Company to explore this month is "Love and Family" it felt appropriate to dance with the feelings I was experiencing in her room.

I was initially drawn to the teddy bear collection on her dresser. She wasn't sure where they came from, although I knew that friends and family had given them to her as gifts over the years that she has resided there.

I was remembering how bear cubs are born within the darkness of a den in the depths of winter where they are nursed and nourished by their Mommas and then when spring comes, they exit. I was also remembering how Momma bears are one of the most ferocious mammals when it comes to protecting their cubs...

Feeling much love, as well as melancholy, for my Mom on this visit (I never know if it will be the last time that I will see her), I was inspired to take my inner feeling tone of connection to her as well as what Momma bears symbolize, and dance spontaneously...

My Mom asked at one point where the turquoise hat on the end of her bed came from. I didn't have the heart to tell her it wasn't a hat at all, but, a folded blanket... and so I danced it as 'hat.'

Today, dancing with the bears, my Mom's purple straw hat (that was her favorite sun hat that she hasn't worn in years as she rarely leaves her nursing home due to her disabilities), the blanket, and the love I feel for her.

Thank you for viewing this blog... I hope it may inspire you in some way to dance your own dance...

With gratitude,

Lee

Music: Aiko Shimada

Visit our collaborative blog here: Momobutoh Dance Company